i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
