We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
