why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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