You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
