i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
