Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties

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  (347): i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties http://tfl.nu/y66a
  Replies (16) Good night (992) Bad night (457)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.

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  (913): Her vagina was like a man-sized safe. http://tfl.nu/e508
  Replies (10) Good night (505) Bad night (3382)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?

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  (253): is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing? http://tfl.nu/rrvx
  Replies (5) Good night (556) Bad night (2621)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.

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  (713): I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke. http://tfl.nu/gwfs
  Replies (14) Good night (5065) Bad night (715)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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  (978): I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver. http://tfl.nu/zig6
  Replies (6) Good night (1086) Bad night (2186)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.

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  (917): He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house. http://tfl.nu/rgic
  Replies (10) Good night (2490) Bad night (1053)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.

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  (256): Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO. http://tfl.nu/k62i
  Replies (8) Good night (3408) Bad night (794)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer

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  (817): If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer http://tfl.nu/rqqd
  Replies (24) Good night (2703) Bad night (786)
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  (714): View more from California

  A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.

  (1-714): View more from California

  YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES

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  (714): A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you. (1-714): YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES http://tfl.nu/lgqs
  Replies (15) Good night (2037) Bad night (545)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you

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  (301): But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you http://tfl.nu/si0a
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (553)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib

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  (843): my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib http://tfl.nu/rp9w
  Replies (12) Good night (1495) Bad night (658)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.

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  (605): Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me. http://tfl.nu/wtwx
  Replies (8) Good night (1241) Bad night (530)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Mother of the Year

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  (720): We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach. (1-720): Mother of the Year http://tfl.nu/ysx6
  Replies (5) Good night (583) Bad night (259)
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  (585): View more from New York

  AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?

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  (585): AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!? http://tfl.nu/66pr
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (172)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.

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  (605): I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now. http://tfl.nu/u9c0
  Replies (1) Good night (161) Bad night (341)

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