Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
