She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...