Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.