I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
