we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
