If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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