So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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