lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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