Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
worst night to have a conscience
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
