You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize