Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I will die if light touches me.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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