I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
