oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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