i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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