i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
