my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
