I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
