I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
