If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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