I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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