were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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