I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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