Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Green mimosas i think yes
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
