her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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