I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
