ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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