My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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