It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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