Buhtt sex?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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