this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
