Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
