K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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