Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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