You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
