in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
