OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
