My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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