i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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