i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
