If i come over, it means nothing
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
