you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
