Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize