i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
