So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
