It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize