I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
