hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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