thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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