DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
