I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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