my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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