i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
