The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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