How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
