This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
