quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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