It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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