im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
no you cant smoke seaweed
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man