You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?