Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
