shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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