Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
