Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
