She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
