i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
