Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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