she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
