He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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