evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
