SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
